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Old 03-10-2007, 12:59 PM   #317 (permalink)
Crowe
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Join Date: Dec 2005
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PaperHurricanesAndPlanes View Post

How about an overall point? You give us imagery, but no plot or objective. I like your imagery, but c'mon.

LOL WHAT! Read it more closely. Make it simple. The narrator is telling another person his roll as the light surrounded by darkness, why his presence is important, and how he abused that power once.

I can break down the plot for you in a few lines.

I know it may be hard to believe,
But I was once a brilliant light,
- Narrator talking about himself being a "messiah"

Now you see me here,...
This is my dim twilight
- Now he's the "pariah"

I still
Possess the power of memory.
And the passion it takes,
To pass on
- He's passing on, to the reader, how to live with grace.

Then he goes on to describe what the reader can do with life with the hands and mouth etc...

Then he tells him to stay away from the corrupt, don't fall into their world of vices and the sort... they are sinners, and their sins are a disease, he's telling the reader that HE fell to their sins, which is why the disease is in his heart. And he reveals he is about to die...


Soon your post will you take.
Bright in the darkness of the human race.
- Narrator tells the reader that they will now be the light in the darkness.

So it's a story, and a guide. Plot? Not in the conventional sense, no. Objective? Absolutely.
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