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Old 05-05-2007, 11:37 AM   #15 (permalink)
A_Perfect_Sonnet
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Winchester, VA
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Originally Posted by The Dave View Post
My girlfriend and I will be celebrating our 1 year anniversary tomorrow. However, in about 3 months, I will be going off to college about 6 hours from here and she still has a couple more years of highschool. Should I stay with her or what? I'm totally in love with her, but I also want to enjoy college.
Having gone through this exact situation, I feel I can give you some decent advice.

My ex-girlfriend and I met when I was a senior in highschool and she was a freshman. At the time she was already away, attending a boarding school an hour from our town. I'd see her on weekends and breaks a majority of the time, but for many months of the year, we were mostly long distance. After eight or so months, it was time for me to go off to college as well, leaving me with a decision.

I decided to stay with her when I went off to school. When I got there things were going really well, not much had really changed because we were already experienced with a distance issue. The problems did start to arise when I decided I'd like to try experiencing new things (seeing as how it's a new environment and all). I started lying to her, being rude, not communicating - all that jerk stuff. We ended up breaking up (rather I was a **** and broke up with her), in December.

What I soon found out was all these cool new experiences and stuff that I thought were so awesome, weren't really what they were cracked up to be. I mean partying and stuff is great and everything, but it wasn't a really good way to meet new people, and I found a lot of the girls to be very "all guys want to do is have sex with me" oriented in their thinking. Basically, the whole atmosphere got really stale, and I ended up feeling like a douchebag about the whole situation.

We ended up getting back together, but the situation can be difficult. You're facing a major change in lifestyle, and sometimes things that work out for you in your current situation may not work in a new one. I'd say your major factor will be the distance, given you will probably only get to see her on your longer breaks.

Basically, you need to come to a decision about whether you think you're okay with being so far apart. The best advice I can give you is if you do decide to stay with her, to be honest if you feel like things aren't working out. You probably should be up front with her about the fact this is a huge change and new experience for you, and that when you become seperated, you may find your feelings for eachother change significantly. Just don't be a jerk, seriously. It will make you both miserable.
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