what do a bear and a girl from Arkansas have in common?
..... they both like to lick their pa(w)s.
No? **** you.
Ok, here's one.
Hitler arrives at the gates of heaven, and is greeted by St. Peters;
St. Peters; What are you doing? You can't be here!
Hitler; I have repented for all my sins against humanity. And I have also arrive bearing treasure.
St. Peters, completely dumbstruck, calls to Jesus Christ for assistance.
Jesus; Hitler, what are you doing here?
St. Peters; He claims to have repented for all his sins. And he also claims to have brought some treasure with him.
Hitler; And I have also brought for you, my lord, a solid gold cross.
Jesus, admiring the sheer brilliance of the golden crucifix, runs to God for help.
Jesus: Daddy, Daddy, quickly. Hitler is at the gates and wants to come into heaven.
God; WHAT? THAT'S CRAZY! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK HE SHOULD DESERVE TO BE HERE?!
Jesus; He says he has repented for all his sins, and he has brought with him treasure, including a solid gold cross for me!
God;.... WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT WITH A SOLID GOLD CROSS?! YOU COULDN'T EVEN CARRY A WOODEN ONE!!!