Quote:
Originally Posted by ma/chem/rom
You sitting there in their pain
Tearing at your veins
Breaking skin on your cold wrist
Clenching your blood-stained fist
Pain is flowing in your nerves
But you know its' what you deserve
Fills the air with writhing cries
Staring through your tear-stained eyes.
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Well its a little short, and I say that because I have no idea whats going on here. Thats not to say there isn't a plot, i just can't find it.
Theres quite a bit of pain but if you're going to keep it just a visual piece you'll need to make the images more than ideas, I need to see, or feel, or smell these things, and if you want it to stand out it needs to be more unique.
Let me know if you need a hand with anything.