Dr_Rez

(note* not written by me, from friend. Also this applies well to this forum considering we have mannny Nickelback hate threads and music prudes.)

EDITORIAL NOTE (for lazy people): If you don't like to read paragraphs (for fear of hurting your brain) then please skip straight to the uber-funny sketch at the end of this article. If, on the other hand, you can actually handle reading more than four sentences in a group without your mind wandering off to thoughts of what's on TV tonight, then you can start reading here.... and now, on to the article.

Human behavior is intriguing. One such behavior is how the average person approaches the topic of taste in music. We all have tastes. Tastes in food. Tastes in men/women. Tastes in movies. You name it. But for some reason, no taste seems to carry with it the fervent arrogance and xenophobia that a person's taste in music often does. If you meet someone, and you start discussing food, chances are that you won't even notice if they mention liking a food that you dislike. Most people just accept it as normal. "Oh... you like fish, eh... I'm not a big fan it it." But mention a band that they hate, and watch the wonder that is human self-conceit... "What? You like Blink 182?!? Dude. They're, like, the worst band on the planet. Seriously. What's wrong with you? You really need to get a new taste in music". As if acquiring a new taste in anything is even physically possible, and as if there is such a thing as a "better" or "worse" taste in music. Now, for many of you, cognitive dissonance is already kicking in and telling you that, somehow, your taste in music IS indeed "better" or "more refined", but it's not. I know... it's hard to accept that what your ears prefer means absolutely nothing to anyone but you, but it's true. I'm sorry to have crushed your entire worldview. Laughing

Anyway, I was perusing one of my favorite recording-related forums today (GearSlutz ), and I ran across a thread about a particular band. Now, this particular band (Nickelback), is intensely hated, pretty much all over the internet. I'm not sure why, but somehow, they have acquired all of the ingredients needed to form a bermuda triangle of band-hatred stemming from every corner of the globe. The thread went on for 5 pages of people just adamantly insisting that Nickelback was devoid of all goodness and talent and worth, and that anyone who thought otherwise was a soul-less dimwit. After it was all said and done, I thought, "Wouldn't it be odd if people argued like this over their tastes in food?" So I started typing a brief little script for just such a scenario...



WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF WE TREATED OUR TASTE IN FOOD LIKE WE TREAT OUR TASTE IN MUSIC.



[Two friends sit down at a table in a local burger joint]


Jim: Man... I'm starving. I haven't eaten all day.

Bob: Me neither man.

Jim: What you got there?

Bob: It's a triple cheese burger with everything. Same thing I always get. These things are awesome!

Jim: Really? You get the same thing every time?

Bob: Yeah, dude. Best burger in town.

Jim: What the hell's wrong with you?

Bob: Huh?

Jim: I said, "What... the... hell... is... wrong... with... youuuu?" How can you always eat the same thing? Don't you like variety?

Bob: Uh... I dunno dude... I found the thing that I like the most here and I just get that.

Jim: But that's STUPID. You can't just like one kind of thing and always just eat that... you have to try DIFFERENT things. You HAVE to have variety when it comes to taste in food.

Bob: What? No I don't. I like this and so I eat it.

Jim: But that's f#@king retarded. Are you stupid?

Bob: Dude... that's not cool.

Jim: Hey, I'm just drawing the obvious conclusion, here. Unlike you, I eat a different thing off of the menu every time I come here. That's the right way to do it.

Bob: Uh... ok.

Jim: Yeah... see... even though some things I don't like as "much" as others, I mix it up, because that's what you SHOULD do.

Bob: Uh.... ok. Whatever man. To each his own.

Jim: No, no.... none of this "to each his own" bulls#@t. I'M RIGHT. There is only ONE way to express your taste in food and that is to try all kinds of different things..... unless, of course, lots of people like it.

Bob: What??

Jim: Yeah... if it's something that lots of people like, it's bad.

Bob: Says who?

Jim: Says ME, dumb@ss. If it's a popular menu item, I won't eat it, because people are stupid..... and they're sheep, too... yeah... "sheep"... I like to call them "sheeple".... get it? ...it's a play on words.... I'm pretty witty like that.

Bob: Uh...

Jim: Yeah, so anyway... if lots of "sheeple" (tee hee) like it, then you know it's bad. You can't go liking food that the majority likes.

Bob: Why not?

Jim: BECAUSE, dude.... because that's the way it is. It's a universal truth that cannot be denied. I'm right. You'll just have to get used to it.

Bob: Man, you're really creeping me out here.

Jim: Whatever man... so anyway... today I'm trying the pickled pigs feet sandwich. It smells like absolute dogsh#t, but not a single SOUL has ordered this in over a month, so that means it's the coolest thing in this joint.

Bob: That's insane, dude.

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