Music Banter - View Single Post - Six Musicians With Pasts They Hope You'll Forget

Predator · 01-29-2008, 10:55 PM

This was taken from Cracked.
Here is a link so it doesn't look like I am taking credit.
Six Musicians With Pasts They Hope You'll Forget | Cracked.com

Quote:

All of us have had jobs we weren't particularly proud of. Unfortunately, if you choose a profession in the public eye (i.e., rock star), any bunch of ****heads with a computer and too much time on their hands (i.e., Cracked) can bring up your humiliation years later. For instance…
#6.
Alice in Chains

While the majority of bands spawned by the grunge music explosion of the early '90s openly expressed their disdain for the superficial glam metal acts that preceded them, Layne Staley and company quietly sat back hoping nobody would remember they were once a bunch of sissified, hair-teasing, mascara-wearing pretty boys.

Became famous because...
Alice in Chains' seminal album, Dirt, is considered one of the best of the grunge era, although lyrics such as,

A stinging pistol, in my mouth, on my tongue,
I want you to scrape me from the walls.

...mean it's unlikely to be your first choice if you're trying to liven up a party. This record has been recognized for its extraordinarily gritty and realistic representation of the suffering caused by heroin addiction... which may have something to do with the fact it was written and recorded while Staley was suffering from an extraordinarily gritty and realistic case of heroin addiction.

Became famous despite...

While the members of Alice in Chains have managed to distance themselves from a few of their more obscure early incarnations, it doesn't exactly take a team of CSI detectives to connect the dots between the band we know and Layne Staley's effeminate '80s ****-rock act, Alice 'N Chainz. This group of (alleged) men sporting bouffant hair and nancy boy make-up was arguably the most embarrassing of the band's many forerunners. Their now forgotten output from the '80s including sensitively titled tracks like "Fat Girls" and lyrically diabolical party anthems such as "Lip Lock Rock":

Lip lock, Lip lock, Lip lock, Lip lock, Lip lock Rock
Lip lock rock, Lip lock rock
Whoa

Suffice to say, song writing generally took a backseat to hair and make-up during this era. Perfectly illustrating the band's non-existent musical credibility is a line from their demo tape's thank you notes that reads "If you are blonde, tan, tasty, and tight, the boyz in the band love you lots"... And no, as much as some fans would like to believe it, we haven't gone off topic and started talking about Poison.