Wine is considered the blood of Christ, thus he was wasted 24/7. So Jesus wasn't straight-edge, and the church encourages sipping this mans juice...err...blood...uhm, wine.
He lived a life of rebellion and eventually the officials got sick of this long haired punk. He lived fast (going from a child to age of 30? c'mon) and died young (he was still a virgin!).
Also, Jesus is ashamed of all these ghey bands basing themselves around him. He wouldnt hang with those losers, back in the day he hung out with hookers and sinners. Plus, walked on water. The man is the epitome of what is "punk"
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