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Old 05-26-2008, 12:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
jackhammer
Ba and Be.
 
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: This Is England
Posts: 17,331
Default Big Brother: UK.

Yes we are nearly at that time again. BB is about to hit and once again I will become a BB widow.

A BB widow has essentially been divorced and 'sent to Coventry' for nigh on three months by their partners , whilst the most banal and idiotic programme on earth is plastered all over the TV screen that YOU have payed for. You may be slightly more fortunate in the fact that she 'ONLY' watches the hourly catch up thus sparing your sanity a little. However you may have to endure the add on programmes such as 'Big Brother on the couch' (this is not the housemates shagging) and 'Big Brother's little mouth' (again no sexual connotations). If this is the case then you will not only be shunned akin to a leper but your already dwindling sex life will be reduced to a "move out of the way of the TV, Sharon/Mike/Talbot (enter appropriate name) are brushing their teeth for god's sake. I don't want to miss this!" vocal banishment.

Every other year there used to be a little salvation from this tedium, namely a football championship either the Euros or the World Cup. Unfortunately the English football team are about as useful as past BB contestants that the donkeys have failed to offer salvation to the english menfolk and so we are having to endure even more crap.

Not only are the BB perpetrators so engrossed in watching this filth, they also love to TALK about it too. Imagine getting home from work, fed up and hungry; ready to vent your spleen out on them when they completely ignore your tirade and start telling you what Ethel/Satsuma/Frog (enter appropriate name) had for tea and that they clipped their toe nails one hour ago! This is tantamount to emotional violence, yet you must never complain as "you just don't understand".

So this is a plea to all you BB widows out there. Join us! Take a stand against this filth and join us all....
























...DOWN THE PUB!
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