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Urban Hat€monger ? · 07-05-2008, 10:15 AM

Does it have to be one line?

Because this is great

"Say, has life got ya down? Feelin' bummed? Havin' difficulty coping? Can't get a second glance from the chicks? Well children, you've come to the right place. Dr. Beauregard'll set you straight. My diagnosis of you is chronic wussiness. What you need is some real rock-n-roll". What the heck are you babblin' about?", I asked the rockin' housecat. "Yep", the cat continued on as he further examined me...."I've seen cases like this before. The first symptom is denial, of course. Then the fever sets in and you start to denigrate your AC/DC collection. Hell, I'd heard of a feller across town who'd got it so bad that he'd started to appreciate his wife's Hall and Oates Greatest Hits CD. And furthermore, in a fit of delirium, he'd offered to give up beer "n" football in order to help out around the house. It wasn't pretty, I can tell you. Fortunately, I was cat on the spot and was able to make a house call and inject some Led Zeppelin into the dude, who subsequently made a miraculous recovery, much to the satisfaction of his wife."

"Bobo, what does that goofy story have to do with Alice Cooper?", I asked. It doesn't have anything to do with the Coop", the cat replied. "I jus' felt that we'd kill some time and add some verbiage to our review total, that's all. If'n we're back on the AC discography, that means that the Coop's '77 album, Lace and Whiskey is on deck. I can guarantee you that we'd be hard pressed to flesh-out a decent review of this album". "Why is that?", I asked. "Because it sucks, that's why", said the rockin' housecat, emphatically. "No great melodies. No great riff's. No great lines. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. If I were guitarists Dick Wagner or Steve Hunter, I'd be embarrassed to cash paychecks associated with this turkey. What was Alice Cooper thinking? (Yeah, I know what the Coop was thinking....'Man, I gotta get the Billion Dollar Babies" back together again!'). Albums as misguided as Lace and Whiskey are career killers".

"OK, Bobo, lay it on the line. Don't hold back. Tell me what you really think about Lace and Whiskey?". I asked. The cat replied..."I give this album one-half star. It's that bad. one of the worst in our whole rock-n-roll collection. The only reason it's not bringin'-up the rear of our collection is because we have the Moody Blues, Sur La Mer occupying that esteemed spot."

07-05-2008, 10:15 AM	#5 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	Does it have to be one line? Because this is great "Say, has life got ya down? Feelin' bummed? Havin' difficulty coping? Can't get a second glance from the chicks? Well children, you've come to the right place. Dr. Beauregard'll set you straight. My diagnosis of you is chronic wussiness. What you need is some real rock-n-roll". What the heck are you babblin' about?", I asked the rockin' housecat. "Yep", the cat continued on as he further examined me...."I've seen cases like this before. The first symptom is denial, of course. Then the fever sets in and you start to denigrate your AC/DC collection. Hell, I'd heard of a feller across town who'd got it so bad that he'd started to appreciate his wife's Hall and Oates Greatest Hits CD. And furthermore, in a fit of delirium, he'd offered to give up beer "n" football in order to help out around the house. It wasn't pretty, I can tell you. Fortunately, I was cat on the spot and was able to make a house call and inject some Led Zeppelin into the dude, who subsequently made a miraculous recovery, much to the satisfaction of his wife." "Bobo, what does that goofy story have to do with Alice Cooper?", I asked. It doesn't have anything to do with the Coop", the cat replied. "I jus' felt that we'd kill some time and add some verbiage to our review total, that's all. If'n we're back on the AC discography, that means that the Coop's '77 album, Lace and Whiskey is on deck. I can guarantee you that we'd be hard pressed to flesh-out a decent review of this album". "Why is that?", I asked. "Because it sucks, that's why", said the rockin' housecat, emphatically. "No great melodies. No great riff's. No great lines. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. If I were guitarists Dick Wagner or Steve Hunter, I'd be embarrassed to cash paychecks associated with this turkey. What was Alice Cooper thinking? (Yeah, I know what the Coop was thinking....'Man, I gotta get the Billion Dollar Babies" back together again!'). Albums as misguided as Lace and Whiskey are career killers". "OK, Bobo, lay it on the line. Don't hold back. Tell me what you really think about Lace and Whiskey?". I asked. The cat replied..."I give this album one-half star. It's that bad. one of the worst in our whole rock-n-roll collection. The only reason it's not bringin'-up the rear of our collection is because we have the Moody Blues, Sur La Mer occupying that esteemed spot." __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.