Music Banter - View Single Post - In Walked a Man Who Held Life in His Hands

Berringer · 10-08-2008, 01:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaperHurricanesAndPlanes

The first stanza is amazing. Really, aside from the last stanza this is pretty good, but the rhyming is terrible, for the most part. The first stanza had some good rhyming. But for the most part the rhyming gets in the way of the poem. Also, you repeat In walked a man who held life in his hands too much. Also, I am not sure of the meaning on this poem, so you should work on it. This is quite well done, for the most part though. Worth continuing.

I should have been more clear in one respect: this isn't a poem, it's a song. That's why the title of the piece is repeated so often in its structure; that would be the chorus of the piece. The last stanza is a bit difficult when compared to the others (at the time, it was the only version I wrote which halfway fit the theme). Musically, it's supposed to be a bridging sequence between the main part of the song and an instrumental section before the final fading chorus. I envision the piece to run around eleven minutes long in a hard rock/progressive format. Something that maybe the pairing of Ayreon (circa 1998) and Iron Maiden (circa 1984) would come up with.

As for the meaning itself, the song focuses on a serial killer with mental disorders. He didn't fully realize what he was capable of in the beginning (the man who held life in his hands). His past sins finally shatter his ignorance and he closes himself off from the world, sort of seals himself in a woodland tomb. There, his inner demons haunt him until he ultimately commits suicide trying to escape the mental anguish.

I want to thank you for taking the time to review the piece, by the way. I've often thought about taking stabs at it again but I've been trying to move away from the really dark material I was writing I few years ago. Unfortunately the lighter side of my being hasn't been nearly as interesting.