Music Banter - View Single Post - Wifey Boozer's Songwriting Journal
View Single Post
Old 12-10-2008, 06:16 PM   #62 (permalink)
creepinson
you are freakin out, man
 
creepinson's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: ajax, ontario
Posts: 129
Default

okie, here we go.

i like the first one, although some expansion would have been nice. i realize that its supposed to have that succinct and stripped down feel, but there's lots more you could have done with this.

the second one was good too, i don't think the single line at the beginning added much to it though. the only other thing i didn't enjoy about it were the part about setting plates, which gets the idea across but i thought coulda just as easily been something more effective. maybe that's just me. oh and the ending, it wrapped it up well but wasn't that strong of a finish in terms of rhythm.

the third one was really good. i really liked the flow and rhyme scheme, and the overall concept was pretty good. Oh, and haha, we get it, you like bob dylan.


the fourth was my favourite, but once again the lone line at the beginning isn't doing much for me. other than that i pretty much enjoyed everything about it... your word choice of irish baileys seems a little out of place to me but i guess thats just personal taste, and either way i don't really understand what about it is failing to tickle my fancy.

all and all pretty good. I'd like to see longer pieces by you, it feels like alot was left unexplored.
creepinson is offline   Reply With Quote