Nirvana - In Utero
It has to open with a blast of feedback. This might be the apex of despair. The cover shows that the angels have been dissected.
The first line gives you Nirvana up till now-- “Teenage angst has paid off well/ Now I'm old and bored.” In reviewing this album, we assume the role of the “self-appointed judge” who Cobain rails off against in the next line. This is quite clearly Cobain against the world. It is unclear whether he has set it up that way or if he has been forced into it. The simple truth is that anyone achieving fame in today's world will face praise and criticism in torrents, and none of it will seem very genuine.
So when he screams “Go Away!” in “Scentless Apprentice,” we're torn. On the one hand, he does seem to be screaming at us. On the other hand, we're drawn like moths to the flame, and he must be fully aware of this. There is an essential paradox operating here. “There is nothing I could say/ That I haven't thought before,” but I'll say it anyway. I'm filled with despair, but the name of the band is Nirvana. How does this paradox resolve itself?
“Heart-Shaped Box” exudes stunning ferocity. The imagery of umbilical cords and hymens ties in to the name of the album-- “In Utero”... an attempt to escape the cold judgmental world for the warmth and comfort of pre-birth. “Rape Me” is a response to every Nirvana detractor and exploiter. Heap all your hate and disdain on Kurt Cobain and his “simplistic, sophomoric” music. He can be a symbol for all the things you detest—self-concerned adolescence, apathy, nihilism, detachment. Go ahead, don't think about what you're doing, just rape him. We can detest all other attitudes to justify our own.
“Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle” is a violent reaction against the tendency of society to normalize at all costs. The story hinted at by the title regards the actress Frances Farmer, who was involuntarily institutionalized and given shock therapy for “erratic behavior.” “I miss the comfort in being sad,” sings Cobain, breaking through the supposed paradox. There is a great comfort in being who you are, rather than feeling obligated to contort yourself into a fabricated image. Here you can almost hear Frances Farmer speaking on behalf of Cobain: “It was pretty sad, because [after the publication of God Dies] for the first time I found how stupid people could be. It sort of made me feel alone in the world. The more people pointed at me in scorn the more stubborn I got and when they began calling me the Bad Girl of West Seattle High, I tried to live up to it.”
What exactly does “Milk It” milk? The tension regarding Cobain, the instability we sense, the breakdown we know must be coming. “Look on the bright side, suicide” he sings, and he sounds like he means it. Is it any surprise Nirvana were so incredibly popular? It's not just the music, there's an entire drama surrounding the band, and as hinted at above the expectations surrounding the self-destructive rockstar myth become self-fulfilling. Did Cobain kill himself or did we kill him? Like any of us are ready to assume that kind of responsibility...
It's a strange state of affairs when “Radio Friendly Unit Shifter” can be both ironic and close to truth. It probably hasn't gotten too much radio play, it is probably the closest to noise rock of all the songs on “In Utero,” but nevertheless the album was immensely popular and this song could only add to its popularity, to the feeling of “F
uck You” that millions relished in it, to the countercultural message which is instantaneously absorbed into an undiscriminating culture. Oh what a wonderful world.
In “Tourette's,” he's more or less just screaming. He's breaking down. This is what we wanted, isn't it? This is epic, this is larger than life, and it's all right there for us to consume. Of course, the closing track completely seals the deal. Now he's talking directly at us. How could you listen to this and not know this is the end? Where could he possibly go? It's all been said, he could go on and drown in his own hypocrisy, or he could resolve the paradox. Return to pre-birth. This is enlightenment, this is nirvana: “All in all is all we are.”