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Old 01-19-2009, 11:13 PM   #9 (permalink)
WWWP
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My fellow Americans, today is a squishy day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "goat", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually swing.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces scratchy and soft challenges like never before. Our economy is luscious. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for sluts. Our healthcare system is beautiful. If your thigh is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a mailman. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a fireplace shoe. But sucking together we can right this ship, and set a course for Wyoming.

Finally, I must thank my black family, my white campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Crackers for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of ruling the American people. Without your strong efforts, none of this would have been possible.

LOL.
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