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marissa_says · 01-26-2009, 03:26 PM

This is a first attempt at lyrics, but I do a lot of other writing. All constructive criticism is welcome, but please don't waste your time if you don't mean anything you say. Hate it? That's awesome, I'd love to hear why. But don't just hate it without having a point. (:

So this is pretty much am untitled work in progress. I'm indecisive about whether or not to continue it, so feed back is greatly appreciated.

Verse 1:
I was staring out my window
Focused on being unfocused.
That's right, it's that casual disinterest
And I wish you could give it a rest.
Can you even hear yourself?
No one likes the old 180.
You're a skipping record, you've crossed the line.
I can't stand, stand, stand, stand, stand hearing you whine.

Chorus:
I want to make you better
But I can't if you render me blind
Don't ask for advice, you'll just shut it, shut it down.
See, I want to fix you, but I don't know how.

01-26-2009, 03:26 PM	#1 (permalink)
marissa_says Groupie Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 1	attempt of no particular genre. This is a first attempt at lyrics, but I do a lot of other writing. All constructive criticism is welcome, but please don't waste your time if you don't mean anything you say. Hate it? That's awesome, I'd love to hear why. But don't just hate it without having a point. (: So this is pretty much am untitled work in progress. I'm indecisive about whether or not to continue it, so feed back is greatly appreciated. Verse 1: I was staring out my window Focused on being unfocused. That's right, it's that casual disinterest And I wish you could give it a rest. Can you even hear yourself? No one likes the old 180. You're a skipping record, you've crossed the line. I can't stand, stand, stand, stand, stand hearing you whine. Chorus: I want to make you better But I can't if you render me blind Don't ask for advice, you'll just shut it, shut it down. See, I want to fix you, but I don't know how.