when i was at primary school i entered a poetry competition with every school and I wrote
there was an old lady from leeds
who ate a whole packet of seeds
in less then an hour
she became a large flower
and strangled all the kids who were weeds!
and it won the competition and got published in a book called rabbiting on.
thing is one teacher didn't like me and she never told me about the award ceremony and because I didn't turn up they gave the prizes to the second place girl who got a stereo, vouchers and loads of toys.
I found out back at school and just got a pen.
The girls poem was the usual crap like
the dew on the trees makes me sad like a buttercup in the sky or whatever.
I hate poems that are like that.
The stars sparkled like a jewel in my tears.....
poems should be witty otherwise they are just someones own silly waffling trying to be profound.
I liked this persons poem though.
Because it has a narrative and makes use of words in a cyclical yet unrepetitive way.
It also is unpretentous and shows longing and is youthfull showing love and lust and the nature of it's cyclical swirling nature verging on insanity yet been quite common.
I say to the author great stuff and you can always tweak the words and make it even better.
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