8: Remembering what is best to forget
such as the time where i got really drunk at a party and got a handjob off a random girl and told her that i loved her during ejaculation.
such as the time where i called my current girlfriend my ex-girlfriends name the very first time that i told her loved her.
such as the time where i tore a hole in the crotch of my trousers at school and spent a day walking around like it.
such as the time where i got really drunk and sent a text message to the girl that i liked containing just the words 'your hair smells lovely'. when i woke up the next day, i felt a surge of relief knowing that the girl didn't have my number. however, checking the outbox in my phone, i found out that i had included my name and a winking face at the bottom of the text. she never replied.
such as the time where i had a house party and rode my bin like a horse
such as the time TWO WEEKS AGO, where in an attempt to impress my girlfriends attractive friends, i felt it appropriate to try and start a fight on every male in the club. instead, they all left me in there alone. including my girlfriend.
such as the time where i farted in geography and couldnt stop laughing about it so i was sent out the classroom.
such as the time where i tried to swagger past my girlfriends ex-boyfriend, thinking it was a gracious attempt at me showing him how much cooler i was, but then falling over onto my arse.