Just some of my ramblings on the Grammys, not to be taken too seriously :-)
So last night, flicking through the channels on TV and passing over such gems as America's Next Top Model, Friends repeats (on E4, where else?) and 'Today You Die' a wonderfully titled Steven Seagal vehicle (I reckon that Seagal should team up with Jason Statham to play his father in the inevitable Transporter 4: The Last Crusade but that's another story), I finally settled on the Grammy Awards 2009. The signs of what I was about to endure were there from the outset, I should have flicked back to Steven Seagal when I was welcomed to the event with Bono thrusting at the camera and singing something about boots. The sound was terrible, the song even worse, yet, there I remained, in the hope that at least, it couldn't get any worse...
Over the next hour I regrettably endured more and more than any sane person could possibly bare. Coldplay duetting with Jay-Z (so down with the kids!), Miley Cyrus who looks like she's taking a **** when she sings/whines, winners thanking everyone under the sun from their Great, Great, Great, Great dead (obviously) Grandfather to the lollypop ladies who helped them across the road safely when they were a child. JT trying to sing with his tongue up Al Green's arse and if that wasn't enough, when Duffy presented an award with Al Green, she nearly orgasmed (fake on of course) when he sung half a line of 'Moon River'. Sure, he was great 40 years ago but a shaky warble from an old man is not that amazing. This, I think was my main problem with the whole affair, it was just all as fake as the Duffgasm. All beaming white teeth and suck-up comments.
And I thought Whitney Houston was off the smack?? When presenting an award she seemed so spaced out and came across like she wanted an applause after every two or three words. Maybe stringing a sentence together is an achievement for her.
Of course, how is this any different to the countless other award shows and previous Grammys and why am I ranting about it? Well it isn't, I just had a spare half hour to talk about this one :-)
Needless to say once Stevie Wonder teamed up with the Jonas Brothers I could not take anymore! I pulled the plug and went to bed kicking myself for not watching 'Today You Die'.
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