1. I'm a lazy sod. I should be reading a play called Poor Beast In the Rain for my course right now and, instead, here I am!
2. I've nearly died twice. Once from meningitis when I was about 6 months old, once from anemia when I was about 2.
3. I had a cancer scare about a year ago.
4. I'm a filthy chain-smoker.
5. I probably drink far too much as well.
6. I have a dartboard on my door with Steve McClaren's face on it.
7. I love the rain.
8. No-one calls me by my real name at home except my family.
9. I have a very sarcastic, 'British' sense of humour, which too many people I meet mistake for being a smart-arse twat.
10. I write down random phrases I hear or think of to use as ideas for writing. For example, in front of me right now is a piece of paper which says nothing but 'Christ, it's a geezer!' on it.
11. I'm a pretentious sod.
12. I think everyone should be a little bit more like Tom Waits or else die at his hand.
13. Ever since I worked for telemarketers the word 'job' sends a shiver down my spine.
14. There is no 14th fact.
15. I think the Marooned episode of Red Dwarf (series 3) is just about the funniest half-hour in comedy history.
16. I'm not a big reader, but I do acknowledge it's something I should do more often.
17. One of my best friends in the whole wide world works for KPMG in Dubai, so if I'm ever short of a tenner, I know who to ask.
18. My flat window has a terrific view of a pasty factory and several tire/MOT shops.
19. Bolton is a sh1thole with a rubbish football team, one off-license and no private dental practice, but I still love it here.
20. One of the highlights of my life was when I asked Tony Visconti via email what it's like to work with David Bowie and actually got a pretty insightful answer.
21. I used to play football/soccer a lot but gave up in the end because I was rubbish at it.
22. I swear by ELO's Evil Woman.
23. Everyone I've ever met from Rochdale is a total psychopath.
24. Another highlight of my life was when Wigan beat Sheffield United 2-1 to stay in the Premiership on goal difference. It's the only time I've ever wept tears of joy.
25. I'm pretty bored right now.
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