The poem is alright. I think it could be more condensed, or subtle. How literate you are is equal to the amount of life you can reflect in the smallest amount of words. Keep working on it. Also, I'd start looking at your part in everything and stop worying about how the exterior world effects you, destroy some character defects. Seeing your part is also knowing what you can control, and it takes more then the other person to be dysfunctional.
|