In terms of being "afraid" about things, I don't think you can be, or at least, I don't think you should be. It just seems so illogical to me. Just give it what you have, and be who you are because that is all that you have, and it is what it is. If something embarrassing happens, have a little humility and laugh at yourself. You're only doing yourself harm by being afraid. Just act and let the chips fall where they may. Whatever happens, happens, just keep moving and going with it. Besides, most women, or men, don't want to sleep with someone who lacks complete confidence in themselves and is afraid of making a mistake. Confidence will get you an incredibly long ways, and what reason do we have to not believe in ourselves anyways? Just accept things for what they are. We all have that in us, and the only ones stopping us are ourselves.
I think this applies to all of life too, not just sex. Don't be afraid, just do it, because otherwise you're only holding yourself back. You'd be surprised at what you can do with life if you aren't afraid to reach out your hand.
I think we all have to remember we all fail at times, and the best have failed more then anyone else; that is what gets them to that level. (sorry I think I'm getting somewhat off-topic here now)
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Originally Posted by Darkest Hour
dude, i don't look like the typical virgin type. I'm not weird looking, nerdy, or anything like that, i'm just shy when it comes to girls. How i even managed to nearly **** 3 hot chicks is beyond me. I set my standards pretty high for girls, and i'm not going to have sex with a girl who is mediocre ever. There's like no way around it, other than taking my chances with some chick and hoping i don't totally suck. It's a freaking embarrassment just to admit i am a virgin to people. Not that i really care personally, but jesus christ, who waits this long to lose their virginity these days?
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What is "mediocre," to you? If you're just looking to **** some completely plastic, fake, "hot," broad, you're always going to come up empty (in a number of ways) in my opinion. I think you're looking at this whole thing from a kind of skewed perspective (though I guess what perspective isn't?). If your basis for a "hot" woman is someone that looks like they're from a magazine, then you have unrealistic standards, and the intentions behind what you're looking for I don't really agree with (not that you're wrong, but I suppose that's just not for me). Sex isn't just about ****ing "hot" girls in my opinion, and that whole game created by our society is completely trite if you ask me. I'm not saying anyone's wrong for doing it, it's your life, do as you please, but I suppose I never want to get myself wrapped up in that and I think a lot of people may attach themselves to it because that's the perspective they've been fed since they were young. Also, in a lot of social circles, it's "cool" to do "hot" woman/men, and it's "cool" (at least for men, I can't say for women) to do a number of them as if it's a check list; I think that's all complete ****.
This whole approach that "this person has to meet a certain set of physical requirements before I'm willing to **** them," completely baffles me I suppose because for a lot of people that seems to be the only basis for it. I'm not saying you shouldn't be attracted to the person you involve yourself with, but the fact that people treat potential sexual partners as a checklist of physical traits and qualities is unreal to me. I realize I'm the minority, but I just don't approach sex like that; people aren't just objects that I'm going to deem "****able."