Originally Posted by itsnuts

I have a difficult time with people who like Lil Wayne. He rambles on about nothing important, he doesn’t have a nice flow, and half of his rhymes don’t even rhyme. But for all of his flaws, I’m willing to accept that Lil Wayne has fans for the sheer fact that you can dance to his music and it sounds good at strip clubs. There is one group of fans, however, that I’m not willing to accept – and those are the ones who claim to listen to ‘real hip-hop.’

I must confess, from 2002-2005 I was one of these people (this was also one of the worst periods of my life. Coincidence?) So as a reformed ‘real hip-hop’ listener, I feel it is my obligation to give you some insight into the mentality of this dangerous subculture.
Believe it or not, you’ve probably already had a run-in or two with some of these people. The conversation usually goes something like this:

You: “Hey, did you hear that new Jay-Z album? It’s pretty good.”
Some douchebag: “Nah man, I don’t listen to that crap. I listen to real hip-hop.”

You may have been a bit confused by this, thinking “what the hell do you mean you listen to real hip-hop?’” Well let me translate it for you. “I listen to real hip-hop” means “I’m way too indie for mainstream rap. Instead, I listen to ****ty artists nobody has heard of because I ‘get it’ and you don’t. (I’m pretty sure Kanye West is a huge fan of ‘real hip-hop,’ and if 808s & Heartbreak is any indication, he might also be turning into a ‘real hip-hop’ artist.)

Want proof of the utter nonsense behind the music at hand? Here’s an excerpt from Coma, the hit single by one of ‘real hip-hop’s’ darlings, Aesop Rock:

“I’ve been a biplane dog fighter Henson invention.
Trooper burst result of Dragon Ball Z/Speed Racer gene splicing.Mach force, blind the extorted style from the common dirty. Destiny dream sighting, important as split the prints.”

I swear to god I didn’t make this up. And yet people will tell you he is the greatest rapper who ever lived. It reminds me of the story ‘The Emporer’s New Clothes.’ Aesop Rock is spinning invisible thread, and yet because everyone says how great it is, people follow along and support him. When is somebody going to finally step up and say, “but his music is terrible?”