Sorry, I know this is long but I wanted to share this with everyone.
On Saturday, I lost my beautiful girl to cancer. She was first diagnosed in March and the cancer she had does not have a cure. Chemo only has a 10% chance of curing this particular cancer (Feline Squamous Cell Carcinoma) and the only option would be to cut out her tongue because the cancer was under it and cutting out her tongue is obviously not an option so the only other option was to give her two kinds of meds a day and hope she lives a long time.
The cancer prevented her from eating properly so she would only take a few bites of her food and that was it. She drank fine but still had a bit of trouble sometimes. Last Tuesday, she stopped eating completely. On Friday, she stopped drinking but would struggle to try to get some water but couldn't so I had to get a syringe and give her water that way. The syringes I had were too small for food and she had no desire to even look at food.
On Saturday, she was getting wobbly, probably from not eating, so I knew it was her time. She had tried to walk over me to sit on the other side of me and she fell head first off the bed (she lost her balance) and I caught her in the air before she hit the ground. She tried jumping off the bed later and fell to her side as soon as she landed. I made an appointment to put her down for this past Monday.
From 5PM - 9PM, I laid in bed with her and just held her paw. At 9PM, I went to take a shower. I then returned to the bed, put her under my arm infront of me and we watched TV. At around 10:30PM, my husband and I were hungry so I went online to order pizza. After I did that, I went into the room and picked her up. I noticed her head fell to the side and then she straightened it up. I put her on the bed and as I pet her, I noticed she was not breathing. I screamed for my husband and he came into the room and she took a breath. I then told him to call the vet (there is a 24 hour one about 20 mins from here) and tell them we were coming.
I grabbed her favourite towel and wrapped her in it. She took another breath. I held her so tight and cried so much but by the time we got into the elevator, she had passed away in my arms.
We continued on to the vet and when we got there, they double checked and confirmed that she had passed away. They allowed us to sit in a room with her for about 30 minutes and fill out paperwork for her ashes and a paw print.
It was the most horrific event in my entire life. I had her since I was 15 and she was the greatest friend anyone could ever ask for. We were both very close to each other and she would follow me around everywhere I went. My pets are basically my kids to me so seeing her take her last breath in my arms and pass away was the hardest thing to ever deal with.
I have been beside myself the past few days and have never cried so much in my life. The fact that she is gone makes me feel sick. I have just been sitting here in a daze most of the last few days and haven't felt like doing anything. I have been focusing on the good times and it has made me feel a lot better, though.
Life happens and this was not expected. She changed us and she left this world knowing that she was very much loved.
Her ashes and paw print will be ready in the next few weeks and I can't wait to have her back home with me.
Anyways, here she is again, very much missed.
