I'm pretty much a genius at writing and English and such, and I'm an actual composer who still retains the ability to use layman's terms when discussing contemporary rock, so I fit the bill perfectly to be a real music critic. But my friend, there's a reason music critics rarely make enough greenbacks to live on. It's a nonsense occupation; it shouldn't exist. People should be able to make their own conclusions without some pretentious prick telling them otherwise.
Oh, wait, what did I just do?
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