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right-track · 09-04-2009, 03:49 AM

Gastric flu...day 4!

Thankfully, today, I'm no longer shitting through the eye of a needle.
However, my affliction has taken an evil twist. Imagine trying to pass hot beef paste through an open sore...

And while I'm here, seeing as I've not much else better to do, when I'm not suffering severe and excruciating abdominal pain as a precursor to a mad and desperate scramble up the stairs (3 at a time) to the loo, I'm going to take the opportunity to type down a few 'pointers' of advice for the female members here who suddenly find themselves home alone with their other half.

Never shout at the TV during the Jeremy Kyle show (or any other dire equivalent. Jeremy Springer et al) and then attempt to involve your man in a conversational debate about the contents of the aforementioned daytime television programme(s) while he's on the internet!
Do we make you sit and watch as we surf the webz? No we don't!

If his arse itches...he will scratch it. LEAVE HIM ALONE!

When a man is off work ill...NOW...is NOT the time to discuss decorating the house. Neither is discussing the colour scheme. We are men. We see the world in primary colours. Peach is a fruit and not a colour. And wtf is mauve?

Asking a man to do something is one thing.
Telling him how to do it is another.
You can't do both.
If you know how to do it better...do it your fucking self!

/rant

09-04-2009, 03:49 AM	#4322 (permalink)
right-track Atchin' Akai Join Date: May 2005 Location: Unamerica Posts: 8,723	Gastric flu...day 4! Thankfully, today, I'm no longer shitting through the eye of a needle. However, my affliction has taken an evil twist. Imagine trying to pass hot beef paste through an open sore... And while I'm here, seeing as I've not much else better to do, when I'm not suffering severe and excruciating abdominal pain as a precursor to a mad and desperate scramble up the stairs (3 at a time) to the loo, I'm going to take the opportunity to type down a few 'pointers' of advice for the female members here who suddenly find themselves home alone with their other half. Never shout at the TV during the Jeremy Kyle show (or any other dire equivalent. Jeremy Springer et al) and then attempt to involve your man in a conversational debate about the contents of the aforementioned daytime television programme(s) while he's on the internet! Do we make you sit and watch as we surf the webz? No we don't! If his arse itches...he will scratch it. LEAVE HIM ALONE! When a man is off work ill...NOW...is NOT the time to discuss decorating the house. Neither is discussing the colour scheme. We are men. We see the world in primary colours. Peach is a fruit and not a colour. And wtf is mauve? Asking a man to do something is one thing. Telling him how to do it is another. You can't do both. If you know how to do it better...do it your fucking self! /rant