Quote:
Originally Posted by Schizotypic
Woman are just like men, if something in a relationship is screwed-up the people in it need to practice good communication, trust, and good boundaries. Not exactly easy. If you have those three then you don't have to "figure out" the other person. You should never have to analyze your partner in order to understand a situation or how to work toward a solution, that's an example of bad communication. You should never let your partner walk all over you, that's an example of bad boundaries. You can't have either without trust. It takes a lot of self-work on both sides, and is not the easy answer to everything but rather tools to deal with pretty much anything.
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I agree with Schizotypic: women are just like men in that they are all different, but my impression and experience is that most people (who are in a fairly solid relationship) want good communication, trust, and good boundaries. An example of trust: trusting that the person will not try to go out of his way to hurt you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SATCHMO
to 333: The truth is i was really drunk when I started this thread. I know what you're saying and I agree (as far as what "I" want that is). I got divorced yesterday so I was really in a state of drunken reflection.
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Wow...SATCHMO...did you really get divorced several months ago? That must have been very stressful because any time a relationship breaks, especially one that was supposed to be a lifelong relationship, I feel it shifts a lot of expectations and raises a lot of hurt, anger, and fears, one being the fear of the unknown. I send you my belated commisseration.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kevorkian Logic
Every girl is different that is probably the best advice I could give you. If a guy did anything like that to me that Savanah just described I would get really uncomfortable and be very turned off.
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I agree with Kevorkian Logic: some of the things women in this thread have mentioned they want would make me feel uncomfortable, such as a man opening the door for me...if this were done consistently, and *especially* if he didn't accept reciprocation.
Although what I looked for in a partner changed over the years (as I found out the many attributes I did *not* want), one thing remained the same: I wanted a partner with whom I could be myself and did not need to feel like I had to put on an act. I wanted someone who realized that we are separate individuals who are agreeing to be together to care for ourselves and each other. The relationship is not a power play. I would avoid anyone who wants to change you in ways you feel aren't true to yourself.
My relationship motto: it is better to be alone than to be with someone with whom you feel lonely.