Well you've got this poem here, and it needs music, or at least some form of context, otherwise there's nothing to say besides the fact that it's good for a poem, although the deep and cutting statements are a little too abundant. It kinda gets to the point where the impact of each stanza is lessened to a greater degree. If you wish to understand what I mean, check out this stanza:
Quote:
When she had her last child,
Once when she had some boyfriends, some wild.
She moved away quite far.
Our grandpa bought us a new VCR.
We watched it all night, but grew up in spite of it.
We watched it all night, but grew up in spite of it.
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It's not the greatest example of what I mean, I'll admit, but understand how irrelevant the fourth line is. It seems that way, but it has even more impact because the meaning is made clear in the last two lines. Your waving the hammer around so much that you miss us altogether. Lure us in, and then hit us with a hammer. You see what I'm sayin?
peace out,
-nick