Quote:
Originally Posted by kouki
A little background on this,I live in a bad area.This is all sh*t that ive seen and heard yada yada yada.I was thinking of changin the chorus,it seems kinda bitc*y and whiny,let me know.
Ps. Ill be moving out of this sh*t hole soon.Hopefully LOL
I woke up from my dream and into this nightmare
by the shots fired and the sound of screeching tires.
Dreams? We've all got em.
Mine just seem lost and forgotten.
I want out I want out
f*ck surviving and living without <--chorus,i guess
peace of mind peace of mind
It feels imposible to find.
Life in the beat down *****y part of town
candles and flowers lying on the ground
a place I call the land of the lost
surviving a hail of bullets,but at what cost?
living in a world where there is no change
children and mothers are going insane.
What the hell, did they kill someone else?
I guess lead in your diet is not good for your health.
Death here, death where?
Nobody saw a thing. (<--sarcastic)
Once found and not blind but they just cant see.
|
The positive is that it seems really random--which means I get the impression that you actually feel what your writing....at the same time it's hard to make anything out of it and it feels like more of a rant than poetry or lyrics. The only way I could make any kind of judgement is if I actually heard you sing it, because conviction goes a hell of a long way.
...also "I guess lead in your diet is not good for your health" seems really awkward.