TEAM AMERICA - WORLD POLICE.....legendary...
Gary Johnston: We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!
Spottswoode: Remember, there is no "I" in "Team America".
Intelligence: [pause] Yes there is.
Gary Johnston: A flying limo? Now I've seen everything.
Spottswoode: Really? Have you ever seen a man eat his own head?
Gary Johnston: No.
Spottswoode: So you HAVEN'T seen everything.
Kim Jong Il: It will be 911 times 2356.
Chris: My god, that's... I don't even know what that is!
Kim Jong Il: Nobody does!
song: ["End of an Act"] I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark, When he made Pearl Harbor. / I miss you more than that movie missed the point, And that's an awful lot, girl. / And now, now you've gone away, And all I'm trying to say, is: Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you. / I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting school, He was terrible in that film. / I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part, He's way better than Ben Affleck. / And now, all I can think about is your smile, and that shitty movie, too! Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you. / Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies? / I guess Pearl Harbor sucked, just a little bit more than I miss you.
Kim Jong Il: And now da destwuction of de worurd is inedidable
Lisa: It's what?
Kim Jong Il: Ine - ine - inedidable.
Lisa: One more time...
Kim Jong Il: I said, da destwuction of da worurd is inedible. God damn, open your fuckin' eaws, girw!
Kim Jong Il: Hans Brix? Oh no! Oh, herro. Great to see you again, Hans!
Hans Blix: Mr. Il, I was supposed to be allowed to inspect your palace today, but your guards won't let me enter certain areas.
Kim Jong Il: Hans, Hans, Hans! We've been frew this a dozen times. I don't have any weapons of mass destwuction, OK Hans?
Hans Blix: Then let me look around, so I can ease the UN's collective mind. I'm sorry, but the UN must be firm with you. Let me in, or else.
Kim Jong Il: Or else what?
Hans Blix: Or else we will be very angry with you... and we will write you a letter, telling you how angry we are.
Spottswoode: Gary, this is a dangerous mission. If you happen to get captured, suicide may be the more humane option. Here take this.
[hands Gary a hammer]
Sarah: INTELLIGENCE is down! Repeat, we have lost our INTELLIGENCE!
Chris: What does Spottswoode see in him?
Lisa: I don't know. But I think I see it too.
Sean Penn: Last year I went to Iraq. Before Team America showed up, it was a happy place. They had flowering meadows and rainbow skies, and rivers made of chocolate, where the children danced and laughed and played with gumdrop smiles.
and ofcourse my sig...
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“Think of what a paradise this world would be if men were kind and wise.” - Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle.
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