Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue
I realized I was waiting to live really, and that life happens now, and only now. I suppose I always knew that intrinsically, but it really hit home in that moment. This moment is all you have and all you'll ever have; everything else is up in the air. I don't want to waste this moment chasing the past and future; I'd rather live, because that is all I have.
|
^ Very true, Blue. I've also had times when I felt I was waiting...feeling as if something better would happen *in the future*. Now I try to do what I want to do in the present, because the future never seems quite as exciting (when it arrives) as I imagine it to be. I'm sorry your mom died.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VeggieLover
Oh man, idk how much detail to go into here....
When i was 9 my dad died, and i grieved, but not fully, i kinda kept pushing the pain away. ... I ended up cutting, sneaking out, got into drinking, drugs, and sexual expression. Now that i know what it feels like to not think constantly, i get to enjoy the quiet. I know how to express my emotions without going to extremes. I still have a LONG way to go, but at least im not in a cesspool anymore.
|
^I think this is one reason I like music: because it gives me a chance to feel and spend less time analyzing, which I tend to do!
I went through an intense period of self-reflection before deciding to become vegetarian and then vegan. I realized that for me the constant focus on "self" (in which the taste of some food is all that mattered) prevented me from thinking about how my life impacts others' lives (including the lives of non-human animals). Becoming vegan involved me becoming much more self-aware (of my involvement in the world) even as it involved me shifting my attention away from my self to others.
Another time of self-reflection was when I realized that sometimes strong, emotional bonds with another person aren't the most important criterion to use when deciding if a romantic relationship is healthy for me or not. For example, during the relationship in which I was the most emotionally involved, I realized I couldn't stand shaving anymore (because shaving, to me, symbolizes the feeling that there is something wrong with a woman's body/hair)...yet my significant other felt he couldn't stay with me if I didn't shave. I decided I had to be true to myself and so I broke up with him because I knew I would hate myself if I gave into his wishes, betraying my sense of self-worth. I remember missing him instensely, though: just the scent of his shirt in the closet would cause me to cry. It is interesting, when you find yourself torn between choices, to see how you end up making your decision.
Ah, Tore, having a child has been wonderful! I think you will love it. I also wasn't interested in having a child until I hit around age 28, and then the idea became more and more appealing. What surprised me most about becoming a parent was how "natural" it felt. I didn't realize I would be the exact same person I was before having a child. The only change in my self is that now I have a child whom I love and feel responsible for constantly. I thought "becoming a parent" involved some deep psychological shift!