Quote:
Originally Posted by Pillowmint
These are meant for a female fronted metal or metal-ish band, like Nightwish. I have put up other songs on here, but I think I should have one place to put them. Anyhow:
You cannot see
You cannot hear
The endless night
So very near
I keep dreams close
Fears closer still
Be gone from here
Sunset's so soon
(Screams)
Save all your dreams for me!
Your won't need them when you sleep!
I need them to hide his screams!
My sacrificed firstborn son!
(Female)
Nightmares are all I have,
And you can't take them from me!
(Screams)
On his gravestone lies a rose,
A reminder to a lost soul!
You have what I need,
But you won't give it to me!
(Female)
I tell them what they need, but not what they want
With so little light, we cannot see!
(Screams)
They say they can't go on,
So little hope, how can this be?
I tell them; Do it for him
They ask, "For who?", and I reply
For my long lost pride and joy!
My sacrificed firstborn son!
(Female)
I tell them where to look not what to see
You don't know what you need from me
You don't know what you need from me
You don't know what you need from me
|
Hi Pillowmint,
First, I just want to say how cute your "name" is...whenever I read it I imagine a nice little mint resting on a pillow to welcome someone home or as a special guest...a nice image. Also, I agree with you that keeping all your songs in one thread is a good idea since it helps people see the connections among the songs more easily, is actually an MB rule, and probably increases the number of people who will comment on the lyrics...since my guess is most people gravitate toward threads that have more views! You could ask a moderator by private message to merge all your songwriting threads to pool all the views together (which I assume happens when threads are merged).
Now, onto your lyrics! I didn't know anything about the group Nightwish, whose songs and style are similar to what you imagine for your lyrics, so I looked them up and listened to a few of their songs ("Bye Bye Beautiful," "Wish I had an Angel," for example) to understand what "symphonic power metal" is, since Wikipedia told me that this Finnish group generally plays within that genre.
Based on what I read and heard, Pillowmint, I feel your song lyrics would work well for that genre. I will focus on the final song you posted. I feel it has the pattern of singing/screaming in alternating stanzas that I heard in some Nightwish songs. The subject matter has a similar feel to that used in their songs--your song is a dramatic or melodramatic poetic description of the sadness and misery of death/senseless killing, and makes some allusions to possible historic events (killing of firstborn sons in Egypt as described in the Moses story, I assume).
I especially liked this stanza:
Quote:
(Screams)
Save all your dreams for me!
Your won't need them when you sleep!
I need them to hide his screams!
My sacrificed firstborn son!
|
and actually felt it would be good to repeat it in the song as a chorus (which the song doesn't appear to have), since I feel this stanza summarizes a main idea of the song: the mother expresses the depth of her sadness by asking someone to do what can't be done...give her his (?) dreams so that she has some to try to cover up the constant, haunting memory of the murder of her child. The image that stays with me the most from this song is of someone so overwhelmed by the grief in her life that she has lost all her own dreams.
Say, what do these lines mean?
Quote:
You have what I need,
But you won't give it to me!
|
I was confused by this part of the song and what comes after. It sounds as if the mother is urging others to fight (in revenge), but I don't understand exactly what is going on. I *do* feel I understand the stanza about saving dreams for the mother, which is probably one reason I especially like it! When I read Nightwish lyrics, I noticed quite a few chunks where I couldn't figure out exactly what they meant, and so maybe that's part of what your goal is--to leave lyrics loose enough that people can interpret them in different ways. I also wondered if perhaps you are using some words more for mood than for their exact meaning, or when you write the lines do you have a precise meaning in mind for all of them?
--Erica