rondevu

Let me start with a little bit of background. I knew him not that long ago (march 2009). We talked and hanged out occasionally. We got close enough to the point that when he did drugs (like E), he'd tell me. Out of curiosity, I tried E with him one day. But he was drunk and didn't take it. Only I did. He told me he'd take care of me and told me not to worry. He told me about how I would feel and what I'd do on E (like I'd be really talkative and become touchy which I did).

However, I totally didn't expect to get really sexual. And I started kissing and hugging him. I was feeling really sexual that I started to touch him and asked him if he wanted to do it. But I was also resisting myself from doing it because I knew it was because of E. We didn't have condoms and in the end, we didn't do it. We almost did though. Oh, and I was really in love with him. Although I have to say I don't even like him more than friend normally. I'm not attracted to him at all. But on E, he was the only one there, and I guess I gave lots of love to the only person available which was him.

After the night, I kept texting, calling him for another 15 hours saying how much I love him and want to be with him. I guess he kinda freaked out.

After 2 days, E was totally out of my system. And I texted him saying that I was sorry about what happened and I didn't mean what I said. It was the effects of E and won't happen again. He didn't text me back. I went on AIM and talked to him and he wouldn't respond. From that day, we never talked again, and I don't quite understand why.

I know I might have freaked him out during E and after because I was totally in love with the guy. But now I'm all normal (and he can tell I'm normal from my FB) he'd ignore me. I want to know what he's thinking, and what I should do to fix this friendship, if it's still fixable.

Thanks!

ps. about E. I won't try it again so don't worry about that.
ps.2 I was only in love with him coz of E