Music Banter - View Single Post - primo's Songwriting Thread
View Single Post
Old 12-04-2009, 12:48 AM   #2 (permalink)
Arya Stark
"Hermione-Lite"
 
Arya Stark's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: New York.
Posts: 3,084
Default

1. What style is this?

2. The first line sounds better if you take out "while"

3. The fourth like sounds better without the "of"
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sansa Stark View Post
I'm down with Jesus, in that case.


MB Journal.
Azucar y Especia. My blog.
Arya Stark is offline   Reply With Quote