Quote:
Originally Posted by iron9567
thanks alot for your feedback this is not the only site ive posted this on. I knew some of the lines may come off as a bit to cliche. So i posted them to see what everyone thought about some of the lines. most of the ideas you suggested were good valid points. and i appreciate each and everyone. I think one of my problems is im to close to the song to see all the things wrong with them. Ill take your suggestions into consideration when i go to edit it in a few weeks.
thanks
the iron man
lol by the way what did you think about the one titled smeared lipstick lol
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Hi iron man,
I'm glad you feel my suggestions may be helpful. I wouldn't say there is something *wrong* with the song, but that different people may react in different ways to them, and in my case I'm sensitive to cliche phrasing. However, there are many songs that use the heart metaphor that I like. For example, I've always liked "Total eclipse of the heart."
Oh, "Smeared lipstick" was very blatant! I felt it described oral sex performed by a prostitute very accurately. The song made me wonder if it was based on real or imagined experiences! If it was based on real experiences, then that raises a lot of red flags for me, since I oppose people paying others to perform a sexual activity, which I feel people should be free to offer only because they want to (and not for payment). I worry that women, who tend to have lower incomes than men, are being pressured or forced into prostitution because of social inequality, poverty, and exploitation. So a song glamorizing prostitution troubles me, even though the "artiste" in me stands firmly behind free speech and expression.
Now that I've commented on the content of "Smeared Lipstick," I'll have to go back and read the lyrics to evaluate their structure!
--Erica