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Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA
Yes, I've been in love before. Yes, I "got over" being "in love" with some of those people. However, there have been people I was "in love" with whom I also loved...and I did not "get over" those people. The feeling of love lingers.
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I've been battling with this feeling for a bit now, and was only recently able to identify it. I had mistaken the lingering of my love for my ex and the familiarity of his presence for still being in love with him. I now realize I still love him, but that love has forever changed. The best thing I've ever done since loving him is learned how to love myself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA
In contrast, when you love a romantic partner, I feel this means you shift the focus of your attention so that you are approximately equally interested in helping the person you love have a satisfying, meaningful life as you are in seeking happiness for yourself. I definitely believe love is a physiological/psychological reality. The feeling of "love" for a romantic partner, to me, is the same as the feeling of "family love"...like love for a parent.
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Beautifully said. I've always been opposed to defining love because I quite like the mystery. I also think that is why some of us are so passionate about love. Perhaps it's not passion, but curiosity?
Quote:
Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA
My observation is that romantic partners start out "in love" and then, if they work at it, transition to just plain "love."
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I take this as you don't believe that you can be
in love with someone for a longer period of time. I guess I've always looked at the contrast between
in love and love in an elementary manner. I related being in love with someone as something romantic and just plain loving someone as platonic or family-related. So, then, if romantic partners transition from being in love to just loving, is there a possibility of falling out of love?
Quote:
Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA
One of the positive experiences I've had regarding love is when, even after a break-up, years later you remain platonic friends with the person. You realize that underneath the more turbulent romantic aspects of the relationship, you actually were and are friends...and that lasts.
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I cherish friendship more than any romantic relationship. To me, friendship is the foundation of a great relationship on any level. I try to remain friends with all of my previous lovers, but sometimes, it is very difficult. I've learned there's got to be a period of time where you don't see each other or even contact each other to really make a friendship work after love; otherwise, the same air of love kind of lingers and could become detrimental to both partners.