Hi! I really enjoyed your song. At a few songs, it seems a little bit sappy, but not much. Without having a tune to the song, it's hard to get a feel of what it would really be like. I'm just gonna re-post parts of the song with some comments.
Verse 1
A shoulder to lean on, a voice to speak from, and a heart to help us along.
I really really like this line.
Chorus
Don’t be shy to lift your head and walk on by, to take my hand and hold it closely.
Don’t be afraid to shed a tear or have me near because, I will catch you when you fall.
I personal find this chorus a little bit sappy, but like I said, it's hard to tell without the music.
Verse 2
A shoulder to weep on, a voice to cry from, and a heart to feel we belong.
I like this one even MORE!
Bridge
There’s always gonna be a true friend for everybody, someone who will show you they care.
A sister with whom you can share...
This part is good, just a little cheesy for my liking.
I don't in anyway want to put down your song! It's really good, and maybe the parts I'm not crazy about will be the parts that other people like. It's hard to say. It's nice hear something heart felt and, well, not about sex and drugs. Keep on writing.
PS. This song made me want to turn on Lean On Me. That's a good thing.
|