VEGANGELICA

Dear AwwSugar,

At long last I am posting my lyrics to “Evergreen,” which I wrote for you back in November, 2009, but haven’t put up yet because I’m still not satisfied with the recording. However, I decided today I might as well post the lyrics, since I don’t know when I'll be done with the recording. Also, since I might die tomorrow (you never know!), I’d rather die knowing I shared the lyrics with you. ("Plan for the worst; hope for the best!"--that's my motto.)

"Evergreen" is about dealing with the loss of someone beloved (though not due to death...instead, just due to the death of a romantic relationship).
I originally planned for the song to be a funny one, but then after reading in your member’s journal that “Dethbed” by Alkaline Trio made you sad, I wanted to write a song that shows someone acknowledging the feelings of sadness and abandonment yet moving beyond them, back into a feeling of stability and life...as opposed to lying in despair in the street.

Now if you recall, AwwSugar, "Evergreen" is based on a chorus to a fake song, “Ya,” that I wrote for you last July to try to lure you back to my songwriting thread. Here is the visitor message conversation we had about “Ya” last July:

Well, heh heh, I started to think about “Ya,” and began to get tickled by the idea of actually building a whole song around it for you, because, you see, I like a challenge. Could I make you cry a little, but in a good way? I knew one challenge would be how to take corny lyrics and maybe turn them into something not completely corny. I decided to just accept the corniness and take it even further (by using the pun “pining” in conjunction with ”evergreen”), in the hope that the corniness would end up making the song honest but sweet. Like you.

ERICA’S MUSIC RATING SYSTEM Rating for “Evergreen” is “MRSSA” for “Mushy romantic song of survival written for (but not about) AwwSugar.”

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“Evergreen” by Erica

The sweet sound of your voice seeping through me
as I curl up in my chair is a memory
I like to recall when leaves of autumn fall
in crinkled piles on the bare earth.

Did the blush of my cheeks ever capture your eyes
more than the supposed connection of our minds?
I wonder as snow drifts over
the front walk where you used to stand and smile.

And I try to let the feelings go
like leaves fading away under the snow
since I know you’re never coming back,
though I wish I knew the reasons

you don’t come around any more.
It just isn’t like before.
You didn’t even say goodbye –
just left me asking why

your colors changed on the branches,
but that’s just how romance is –
sometimes it ends despite all you’ve done
without any resolution.

I see you from afar but I hesitate:
I know anything we’d say would be too late
if there was never a moment we spent
when words would have made a difference.

And you look happy now to me
so I try to let go graciously
of all my expectations
for explanations.
I keep my distance.

But it’s hard to be deciduous
when I’m like an evergreen thinking of us.
I find myself pining for you
throughout the seasons.

I try to let the feelings go
like leaves fading away under the snow
since I know you’re never coming back
though I wish I knew the reasons.

Oh it’s hard to be deciduous
when I’m like an evergreen thinking of us.

(Musical interlude)

The sweet sound of your voice seeping through me
as I curl up in my chair is a memory
I still recall when winter snow falls
in rumpled piles on the cold earth.

Then the frozen layers start to melt away.
Icicles drip in the warmth of day.
The brittle pond opens slowly to the sky
like a giant eye reawakening.

And after a while crocuses outside
seeking sun become too intriguing
for me to live in the past
into which I finally stop retreating

since I know you won’t come around any more.
We will never be like before.
You didn’t even say goodbye,
but I can live on never knowing why

your colors changed on the branches,
‘cause that’s just how romance is –
sometimes it ends despite all you’ve done,
without any resolution.

But it’s hard to be deciduous
when I’m like an evergreen thinking of us.
I find myself pining for you
throughout the seasons.

I’m trying to let the feelings go
like leaves fading away under the snow
since I know you’re never coming back
though I wish I knew the reasons.

Oh it’s hard to be deciduous
when I’m like an evergreen, thinking of us.

It’s hard to be deciduous
when I am evergreen thinking of us.

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