Music Banter - View Single Post

VEGANGELICA · 03-14-2010, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by t3hplatyz0rz

I just discovered a rapper called sick9. He is the man.
Anyway. This is the first thing I wrote which I actually like in a while.

Pimpin' Aint' Easy

Now that you're old, the world's open to you.
Now that you're old, you can discover who you are.
Now that you're old, you know what is true
Now that you're old, you can discover love, instead of sex.

How many kids were born in your short life?
How many of them died inside you, did they use a knife?
And now that you're old, you don't have no more regrets,
Except you shouldn't have let them take your kids, you shoulda joined the suffragettes.

How many times do I have to say to you before it gets into your head,
It's better to be living somehow than to be the living dead,
Now that you're old, you wish you were in another time,
You say "I want to have a childhood, anyone's but mine".

Hey, t3! I especially liked the chorus because of its meaning...someone no longer feeling forced or compelled to interact with others superficially (just through sex) is free to look for love. I recommend deleting "instead of sex" at the end of the chorus, because I feel it is reduntant and makes the meaning over-obvious. The preceding stanzas show the woman is a prostitute, so it is understood that now that she is old(er) and not seen as someone so sexy, she is free to find people who love her for other reasons besides sexuality.

I try to avoid rhyming "life" and "knife" because this may just be the most-used pair of rhyming words in human history, so I feel your stanza would be strengthened by using alternate wording. Also, since "suffragettes" to me means women who fought for the right to vote, I don't think of the word as meaning people who wanted to ensure pregnant women are not pressured to have abortions. I did like the rhyme of "regrets" and "suffragettes," though!

Quote:

Originally Posted by t3hplatyz0rz

IDK, I think this one is a bit gimmicky. It's making fun of the "wangsta" people I know. I generally think they are the lowest form of life on the planet.

Merry Crip-mas

Yeah, the pimps in the crib say,
Ho ho ho!
Yeah, the pimps in the crib say,
Ho ho ho!
Yeah, the pimps in the crib say,
Ho ho ho!
All the pimps in the crib say,
Ho ho ho!

So we was planin' the heist
To be quiet like a poltergeist
I was gonna buy somethin' nice,
Gonna try to cure my lice
We was goin' through the chimney,
They chose me 'cuz I'm skinny,
And they know that I can shimmey,
If I failed then they'd skin me,
We was gonna strike as the clock strikes
Twelve 'cuz that's drama-like,
Our point of attack was the roof, babe,
Was goin' for the chimney, dat's truth, babe,
Go grinch, bitch, lynch if you snitch, it's a Christmas rave!

But then silent like I said,
some fattie dressed in red,
Snuck up, I said, "You a blood, you dead!"
But this nigga musta known Wu-Tang kung-fu
I was figgurin' I'd go for the chimney and leave him for my crew,
But you take your eyes off for a second and he's all over you
And he taught these deer to fight,
They was kickin' our asses all night, all right,
And he dropped us off al battered 'round the station,
And he said with a voice most full of elation,
"I run the Christmas racket in this town, bitches!"And at that time my most fondest wishes,
Was that he wouldn't **** me up and make me swim with the fishes.
And the thing he did when you thinin' it was gettin' romantic-ish is
Take his candy cane and stick it up my ass
Couldn't **** for a week, couldn't even pass gass, ("gas")
Go Grinch, bitch, lynch if you snitch, I got off easy,
Of my crew, I am the last.

I wasn't sure what to expect, but I know I didn't expect Santa to ram his candy cane up the kid's ass and act like the mob boss of the town in which Santa is delivering presents! Cute double meaning of "ho ho ho." You have a lot of clever and funny lines and descriptions in these lyrics.

I still have to listen to your songs (in your most recent post) before giving my feedback on them!

~ Erica