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Old 03-27-2010, 10:30 PM   #26 (permalink)
someonecompletelyrandom
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Join Date: Nov 2008
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You've a lot of untamed aggression that I feel blinds your songwriting. This is something a lot of young songwriters deal with. I feel like you are so angered by the topic you write about, or so want to be taken seriously that the mechanics of the lines themselves are sacraficed. It also cripples any chances you have to be witty or sarcastic about something that you dissaprove of because you're so darn mad at it.

I'm not saying emotion and passion in your songwriting isn't important. From the amount of emotion of seen in your lyrics thus far I can see you're very passionate, but you let that emotion blind you and overrtake every song.

I would just suggest relaxing a bit and try working some fun, witty or sarcastic stuff into them lines. You can achieve that nihilistic sound (and indeed amplify it) if you sacrafice a bit of your blind emotion for a clear head. Think about why you are writing this in clear terms. You have to understand it for it to come accross to your audience effectively. I know i've often written songs just to vent, but it's something that you may want to stay away from.

That said - very entertaining lyrics and I look forward to more.
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