Music Banter - View Single Post - Freebase Dali's Toxic Verbal Adventure (part 2)
View Single Post
Old 04-17-2010, 08:08 PM   #6 (permalink)
Freebase Dali
Partying on the inside
 
Freebase Dali's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 5,584
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr.Seussicide View Post
I liked it, it's good, but I just thought you lost a bit of the flow at this point: "On the brink of a lip-sync'd lie from high on the sole of the boss"

Anyways, the in the first four lines it flowed perfectly dull knife; skull crisis; seagull life is, etc, but yeah that's about the only critique I had, keep 'em coming man.
Thanks for the reply.
I actually worked out the rhythm intensively and it fits, but you gotta have context. I may do a hiphop track with these lyrics expanded to show you what I mean... but they all fit rhythmically.
Note that a lot of my lines, including the one you brought up, actually start before the first downbeat of the line it's on. Like an 8th before.

Last edited by Freebase Dali; 04-18-2010 at 05:18 AM.
Freebase Dali is offline   Reply With Quote