VEGANGELICA

I think it would be very difficult to sell the song as it is, Dancing_Princess18, because I feel it reads more like a diary entry than a song, includes few rhyming lines, which country songs often have, and has very common subject matter (broken-hearted lover).

I'm not too familiar with country music lyrics and I know nothing about trying to sell them, but I feel your song would benefit from reworking the subject matter (so the song seems less plaintive) and the structure.

When you wrote the song, did you have a tune in mind? I have read the lyrics, trying to imagine a song tune based simply on the rhythm of the words, and had difficulty doing so.

Let's take this stanza, for example:
This has two very long lines (italicized). I could imagine changes to steamline the stanza and provide a stronger beat to it. Whether this works or not depends on the tune. I also see you using "probably" an awful lot so I recommend avoiding this repetition. For example, here is a version that gets rid of two of the probably's but keeps most of your meanings:

"I'm lyin' here cryin'
while you're probably laughin.'
I'm here all alone
while you're out havin' fun.
I'm so wasted thinkin' of you.
I bet you're out with someone new.
I guess in the end you were never the one."

I think some people would probably relate to the song's content as you have it (the singer wants the guy back, even though it sounds like he didn't treasure her and eventually left her). I don't think you have to make a song have a positive ending in order to get people to like it, but most of the country songs I hear right now seem like they are uplifting ones rather than downers. I also usually don't like the uplifting ones because they swing too far in the optimistic direction! One additional note: I usually think of "wasted" as meaning drunk, but do you mean tired out or wretched?

The challenge I see with your song is trying to make it sound unique since the so many break-up songs exist.

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