I've never seen a psychologist because I don't believe I have any kind of nebulous disorder requiring attention or explanation.
Externally, I'm perceived as being completely stable and relatively free from neuroticism. I am however, mortally afraid of offending people and being negatively judged. This leads to me being somewhat obsessive and pedantic in the things I create, and over-analysing everything... I'm ashamed to produce anything substandard lest it negatively reflect on me, and I read into things and meditate over them faaaaar more than I should. I can also be extremely defensive as I hate being seen in the wrong although most people never see that side of me. This means that I dislike competition but when I do have to compete in something, I tend to do well because I'm afraid of losing. Sometimes it's just easier to avoid people you don't know well in order to avoid judgement and scrutiny.
Well it felt good to get that off my chest. Do you mind if I rename this thread so that it pertains to disorders and character flaws in general?
|