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Old 06-17-2010, 10:36 PM   #64 (permalink)
DoctorSoft
Rocket Appliances
 
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Join Date: Oct 2009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unchained Ballad View Post
I relate to a lot of what people have said here, and was a bit surprised by some of the "revelations".

I'm just another speck on the wall here, many have complained about how I feel towards myself.

I'm absurdly insecure, quite anxious, and in the end just absolutely pathetic.

I'm afraid of everything, but I suppose those mind numbing cliches that are failure, rejection and being perceived negatively would be the major, or more general ones.

Just as I'm typing this, I feel like a shallow, self-absorbed twat whose "issues" or "disorders" are merely a figment of his imagination; who just wants to feel special or smart and tricks himself into these stupid fucking attention grabbing character flaws.

I complain a lot about what Zagarbal mentioned, a general, incessant sleepyness, and then couple that with constant worry or anxiety.

I think too much about things I shouldn't give a flying toss about, and then I worry about thinking about these things because I'm trying to fit in or feel special, and then I worry that I'm a blithering idiot with absolutely no personality, who constantly seeks ways to avoid being vulgar.

What the fuck am I doing anyway? This is just another bloody way of seeking attention or comfort, and in the end, no comfort or attention will ever satisfy or genuinely comfort me.

I suppose I should just accept myself and try hard to overcome my fears, like tore did, and I must say I was immensely impressed. But in the end, who am I? I've no idea. How can I exist properly if I don't have anything to fall back on? Then again, I'm afraid of what I'll find out.

Teenager hell, I suppose; here I am sounding like a vulgar cliche from an insipid soap opera. Atleast I'm too lonely to complain about girlfriends...Oh wait, that's not really a plus.

(I cannot stress how much I loathe myself for writing this up right now, I wish my story was as interesting as some of the regular members')
Hey, everyone feels like that sometimes, and sometimes you just have to vent it. The internet is nearly the perfect place to do it. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, you seem like a pretty smart guy from what I've read on this site.
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