Quote:
Originally Posted by Unchained Ballad
I'm absurdly insecure, quite anxious, and in the end just absolutely pathetic.
I'm afraid of everything, but I suppose those mind numbing cliches that are failure, rejection and being perceived negatively would be the major, or more general ones.
I complain a lot about what Zagarbal mentioned, a general, incessant sleepyness, and then couple that with constant worry or anxiety.
I think too much about things I shouldn't give a flying toss about, and then I worry about thinking about these things because I'm trying to fit in or feel special, and then I worry that I'm a blithering idiot with absolutely no personality, who constantly seeks ways to avoid being vulgar.
I suppose I should just accept myself and try hard to overcome my fears, like tore did, and I must say I was immensely impressed. But in the end, who am I? I've no idea. How can I exist properly if I don't have anything to fall back on? Then again, I'm afraid of what I'll find out.
Teenager hell, I suppose; here I am sounding like a vulgar cliche from an insipid soap opera. Atleast I'm too lonely to complain about girlfriends...Oh wait, that's not really a plus.
(I cannot stress how much I loathe myself for writing this up right now, I wish my story was as interesting as some of the regular members')
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Huh, I think we might be the same person...
No matter what the issues, whether it's grief (perhaps my main issue), stress, anxiety or just general teenage angst, it's still a problem. I know I'm a self pitying, whiney cow a lot of the time but I've also worked out that that's just the way I am. For now, anyway. I'm lucky I've got a partner that's really supportive and a good network of friends and family, but it doesn't change the way I feel sometimes. And maybe it never will. It's sad, but I've kind of resigned myself to the fact that things might not be so great for me, that we might not get another chance at having a family and that I may well lead a semi-miserable exsistence for the forseeable future. From what I can see, Tore is a lucky, strong person in that he is able to pull himself out of his problems (be it on his own or with help from friends and family), but some people just aren't designed like that. It's nothing to be ashamed of that you can't do this sh*t on you're own.
And Dr Phil moment over. There was my good advice of the day...