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Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA
Cunning,
At first I thought the song was going to be funny, because "tails" should be "tales." I kept expecting the song to be about the tails of dogs from a broken dog house!
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Sorry, I write when drunk as well as late at night so I just copied and pasted it over. Doh.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA
Then I realized the song was about a child dealing with the emotional wreckage of parents splitting up.
Is the "blueness" of the fire representing that the fire has gotten very hot? I thought I remembered that fires are hottest when they are blue...or is that coldest? Now I can't remember.
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I just meant it when something goes blue, it represents a certain sadness and sombreness..
Quote:
Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA
I feel that in this song the rhyming sometimes becomes more important than the meaning, so the rhyming becomes somewhat obtrusive to me. This is especially true for me on the lines, "He has a slight clue" and "They thought talking about others made a whole lot of sense." I think the lines about how the neighbors feel talking about others make a lot of sense seems peripheral to the storyline and could be altered without hurting the rest of the song. It sounds to me a little like it was put in as an afterthought to complete the rhyming pattern. Also, I feel the extensive rhyming gives the song a sort of humorous feeling to me, which I don't know if you want.
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Hmm, I do like songs to rhyme but I wrote bits of it, and instead of mindless rhyming I just waited for a while until things came to me so I believe your feeling of insincerity is a little bit off, but I wanted some humour in there. The idea of nosey neighbours that are just retarded. Neighbour hood politics always fascinated me. I remember when new people moved in to the neighbour and they were foreign, they were the talk of the fence and it was just strange to me, even as a young age.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA
"Stable by glue" reminds me of the song "Steady as She Goes." In your song, is the glue not supposed to be very stabilizing? Your song seems to imply it wasn't very strong. Your song could actually be quite a good follow up to "Steady as She Goes" (a song a like loads)...showing what happens after a couple supposedly becomes stabilized by relationship goo/glue:
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The glue thing was a bit of a weak way in which to describe it, a bit of a cop out metaphor if I'm honest, even though the sincerity was there I couldn't really explain it. But it was just this certain couple were hanging on even though there were obvious gaps, and they forced it together (hence the glue)
Thanks for your feedback, it's really appreciated as always.
And thanks a lot Ellie
