I just wrote one verse for a song.. What do you make of it?
Quote:
My soul’s gateways are shut closed
Easier for the prying to control my hopes
Swerving the line I walk - a mess of dominoes
From pure beginnings, to this tainted growth
An escalator ascends, but not without gears
Viciously cycling by revisiting the years
The system isn't broken, but I feel it won’t last
Blocking lingering problems of an impressing past
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Before I continue it, I also want to know,
do my lyrics sound like pretentious, verbose tosh with the metaphors and all?? I feel like I overdo it with my lyrics, but then I don't know how to make them simple AND original - any tips?