mr dave

i already know i'm old and all but seriously.


WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU KIDS TODAY?!?!??


seriously. you can't control your junks? it's not rocket science. tight pants are AWESOME for controlling a surprise bone, it's keeps you relatively in check and stops you from being outwardly noticeable.

if you're 'using' your legs to try and hide it and can't find a 'comfortable' position quick enough (like an earlier claim) then you're just using your thighs to masturbate in public. explain this to your friend / classmate as they are (or at least were) clearly idiots.

again, not rocket science (or maybe it IS) but tight pants keep it from popping out, if it's already standing up and saying Hello! then crush it with your thighs. you WANT some mild discomfort as it will help discourage mr. happy from his continued salute.

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i am the universe