your first i felt was a bit repetitive and confusing with the phrasing, but your second made a little more sense. I like your second song, it was clear and easy to read, without the use of repitition. So, that's what I got, anyone else? Also, in your second song, I see at times it is forward-moving and at others remembering an arguement. Just what it sounds like to me, changes the mood and makes a less well-defined overall tone.
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