Quote:
Originally Posted by crash_override
I have had similar experience when dealing with people. I don't know if it's the fact that I get tired of people, or maybe it's that they don't meet my expectations, but I find myself cutting people out of my life for long periods of time sometimes. I guess I guage how important they really are to me by how much I miss them. I know that's not a healthy way to approach interpersonal relations, but it's a flaw of mine.
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I don't think that's a flaw and I actually really like the way savannah put it. I find myself doing this all the time and I used to have a lot of anxiety when I thought about it. Now I just accept that that is the way I am. I never quite put it the way savannah did, so thanks for that...I really feel like that just cleared up a lot for myself.
I get overwhelmed by people quite often. I maintain a group of around 3 or 4 people that I will hang out with all the time. That doesn't mean I only know 4 people at any given time, though...I keep a pretty big network of casual friends. Just clearning that up. Any more than that in the main group, though, and I start to get anxious because I do feel obligated to hang out with everyone I consider to be that close and leaving someone out makes me feel incredibly guilty. For that reason, I let people flow naturally in and out of my life.
I feel like these days I make friends that understand that and might actually feel the same way. Sometimes we show up in each others' lives again, sometimes we don't. I can't help but get a sense that the close friends I've had were "meant to be" at certain times, especially since I grew up halfway around the world and people I used to know still show up from time to time.
This got longer than I wanted it.