Originally Posted by downwardspiral

I want to be dead by 40 and I don't want a family of my own. I'm a complete head**** to myself and others, currently really into a girl who is madly into me too but I won't go there with her for some reason, I keep pushing her away and it's annoying me and evidently upsetting her a lot.. but I find it hard to care.

I make myself unsettled by how rubbish a person I actually am. The only friends I have are ones I've met on the internet because all of my 'real life' friends left me behind and I don't have any interest what so ever in anyone within my family despite how nice they are to me. I have and will never loathe a person as much as I do myself.