Quote:
Originally Posted by TheCunningStunt
There's a lot of wise members on here, all would be happy to help with any problems in your personal life. I thought this would be a nice thread for people to unburden their problems, and get some perspective.
I'll go first... Me and my ex, we were together and it was a short relationship and it was generally a bit of a train wreck. So, I ask you... Can things change over time? She messaged me randomly, after a lot of ill feeling. More on my part than hers, I refused to talk to her a while ago. I decided life's too short to be holding a grudge, one thing led to another and we had a good catch up and we're supposed to be going out for a drink and to go and see a film.
She's a bit mental, clingy and insecure.
I'm pretty much the opposite, I don't want some clingy bint hanging off my shoulder looking for constant attention.
Pretty unsure what to do.
Oh wise forum, help me.
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Great idea for a thread!
I will say, in response to your situation, that it is true that things can change over time. It's not always (or even often) the case, but relationships are learning experiences for pretty much everyone, regardless of the length of said relationship.
With that said...
Going out for a drink and to see a film is completely fine and safe. I would say that it's a perfectly all right idea, to let bygones be bygones and catch up a bit.
Since you've already been in a relationship with her, you can use that as an opportunity to see if you notice any changes in her from when you were together. While she may be attempting to project a different image out there in the hopes that you'll give a relationship another go, you have the advantage of knowing her already. You can certainly pick up on any of the negative behaviors she exhibited previously much easier than the next guy.
My main advice is just to go ahead with the drinks and a film, and see how it goes. You probably shouldn't choose to jump into a relationship with her again based on the success of this meeting, but you can use it as a springboard to objectively view the situation as a whole and see where it goes from there.
You can be friendly by all means, and probably should, but if she immediately jumps into talk of how you two should date again, you should probably not allow that to happen - at least not right off the bat.
Basically, just see how it goes. If she, after a bit, gives you legitimate reason to believe that she's changed for the better, then go for it! If not - you'll be able to spot the red flags pretty quickly and get out fast.